is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
