If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
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