So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
someone owes me an orgasm
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
