i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
