I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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