yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
