do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
