Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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