When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
