There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
