i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Watching her eat just hurts me
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
These tits shall not be calmed
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
