420 ftw
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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