I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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