I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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