butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
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