he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
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This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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