Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize