i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
