He is an equal opportunity slut.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Floor bacon is actually really good
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
