Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You just made me feel so damn special
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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