no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
