He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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