I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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