is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
