i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...