I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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