I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
