So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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