Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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