I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
