I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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