I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Randomize
