are you so shy because you have an std?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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