who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
