He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
