i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
