Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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