did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
