This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
