She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
