When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
