I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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