We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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