I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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