I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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