but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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