Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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