The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize