So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
