i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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