if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
this will be a night to untag.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
