$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
