That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
