After last night, I could never be a politician.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
