I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
