If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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