her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Say something about gay babies.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
