If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
