You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
