Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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