WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
