I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Everclear isn't food dammit
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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