So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
