And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize