i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
