What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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