in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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