the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
