Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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