Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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