Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We left an ass print on the piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize