If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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