Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
