Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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